Week 9: Teletubby hill

I've been taking myself on these walks up Cobb's Hill everyday.

Something to get me out of the house and move my body.

I decided to walk with intention yesterday,

No headphones or inner dialogue.

Engaging my meditation mindset, only with open eyes and moving feet.

I noticed myself glancing down, at the ground.

Each time I would do this, I felt myself become conscious of my my body, my physical presence.

In these moments I became anxious.

Anxious some one, some man, would be perceiving my physical presence.

Objectifying my presence.

I also noticed myself glancing up, at the cracks of sunlight through leaves.

Each time I would do this, I thought only of the sun.

Engaging my meditation mindset,

With open eyes and moving feet.

Looking up felt better than down,

And so I looked up.

Craning my neck to the sky I began to forget myself.

Instead, I saw a tree in the park that grew forbidden grapes (they looked like grapes but I wouldn't recommend eating them).

The more I look around, this city is covered with forbidden berries.

My sister and I used to play with them as kids,

Creating paints, soups and cakes out of forbidden berries and mud.

I stand at the bottom of the hill.

My meditation mind speaks to me,

She says, "You can be unhappy anywhere."

I take my first step up the hill.

In order to find happiness in far far away, you must first find happiness where you stand.

At the peak, I made a lap and began climbing down.

Before I could, I looked over my shoulder and saw a woman laying in the sun. In October. In Rochester.

She found her happiness that day.

Envious, I found my own spot in the grass and warmed my skin.

The descent from Cobb's Hill, on a bright day, looks like Teletubby hill.

The grass cut in rows, and a cloudless, blue sky.

My goal this week is finding happiness where I stand.

xxoo Ten